Humorous Quotes
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"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." --Herbert Hoover

"There are good and bad politicians in the government: Some are trying to clean it up; some are trying to clean it out." --Robert Orben

"A political candidate must learn not only to stand on a platform, but to sit on the fence and lie on the spot." --Frank Tyger

"Better a witty fool than a foolish wit." --William Shakespeare

"When we talk to God, we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're said to be schizophrenic." --Lily Tomlin

"There are three books my daughter felt were the most important influence in her life: The Bible, her mother's cookbook, and her father's checkbook." --Joyce Mattingly

"A pessimist is someone who once bet on an optimist."

"Life really isn't that long; it just seems that way."

If you were at the beach, and a lawyer and an IRS agent were drowning, and you only had the time to save one of them, what would you do?
A) Go have lunch
B) Stay and read the newspaper
C) Cheer for the ocean

"Ask not for the government to be your servant. Ask to be the slave of your government."
--J.F. Kennedy's parallel universe clone

"In a Liberal society, rights and responsibilities go together like oil and water. In a Libertarian society, rights and responsibilities go together, period!"
--David Chanley

"As long as people maintain their responsibilities, they should maintain their rights." --David Chanley

"For better government through less government, elect people who will represent people."
--David Chanley

"Tolerance towards others allows peace and freedom. For goodness' sake, let's live in peace."
--David Chanley

Theft from accident victims should be considered a crime, not just business as usual for lawyers and insurance companies.

"The wealth of those who are pulling the strings is only exceeded by their greed."
--David Chanley

"Trickle-down economics" was Robin Hood in reverse.

John Birch was right.

Nationalize the Federal Reserve.

In a sordid slime harmonious, Greed was born in yonder ditch; With a longing in his bosom--for others' goods an itch; Christ died to make men holy, let men die to make us rich; Our God is marching on.

Let the faithless sons of freedom crush the patriot with his heel.
Lo, greed is marching on.
--Mark Twain, "The Battle Hymn of the Republic Brought Down to Date," 1901

"The man who is a pessimist before forty-eight knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little."
--Mark Twain

"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." Mark Twain


This page was last updated 07/02/00 01:50 PM