FCAT: Ten Fun Things To Do
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by Brian Mos

During the month of March, sophomores will be taking a new standardized test called the FCAT. The individual results will never be revealed, thus many students see no reason to waste their time bubbling in scan-tron sheets and writing out dribble and nonsense. While Christmas-Treeing is an easy was to fake work, it lacks creativity. To liven up this 4 day-long standardized nap time, I submit to you...

Ten Fun Things To Do During the FCAT

10. Spend the first 3 days tearing the 118 pages of introductory material into tiny bits, then, on the final day of testing, throw them up in the air and yell "Happy New Year!"

9. Write sentences and paragraphs on the Scan-Tron sheets. Make little dots all over the write-in answer sheets.

8. Use your pencil to connect some of the tracking bars along the side of the answer sheet. This will cause huge problems when the state guys try to score it.

7. Change the school code number. Now some school on the other side of the state gets credit for your unbelievably low score.

6. Je parle francais! Je desire un FCAT en francais!

5. Play frisbee with someone on the other side of the room.

4. Blow your nose on your test paper. Ask for another.

3. Walk up and down the aisles thumping people on the backs of their heads and saying "duck." When a proctor tells you to stop, run back to your seat yelling "GOOOOOOOSE!"

2. Write all of your answers on a Post-It note. Return the unused answer sheets. If they get mad, remind them of our paper shortage.

1. Offer to bring in matches so that you can actually burn school funds.

Obviously most of these would get you into trouble with the administration. They were meant to be entertaining and get the message across to all who read this that the FCAT is not a popular test that will be taken seriously. If you do not like the FCAT, you can contact your elected officials by leaving a message at their offices explaining that you live in their district and would like to see all funding for the FCAT, and similar standardized tests, cut and given to more important parts of our school system. You can find their phone numbers by checking the front section of your phone book.


This page was last updated 07/02/00 01:50 PM